Flu Side-Effects Not Listed on WebMD

Today marks my tenth day bogged down by the flu, a bug, or whatever has caused my body to go berserk. I don't know what it is, but I know it's not fun -- especially since I've had a two week migraine to go with it. Between my head, my body aches, and my temperamental belly, I haven't been able to do anything in what feels like forever.

However, I have discovered some bug and flu side-effects that you wouldn't find on a typical medical site. Let's go over them together, shall we?


Side Effect # 1:  Sleeping on Dog Hours

I've often wondered how my dog can sleep through the night, run through the yard for ten minutes, and then collapse in a furry pile of sleepiness for the next four hours. After ten days of sleeping on my dog's schedule -- without the ten minute run to tire me out -- I feel like we've bonded a lot more than usual. Now if I can just figure out how to make my dog stop hogging the bed we could really make this sleeping schedule work.

Side Effect # 2:  Preparing for Bikini Season

Since I have little desire to eat and even less ability to keep any food down, I'm withering away over here. The good news is that I don't have to get quite as depressed when I see those bikini season weight loss commercials. Now don't get me wrong. I could go another month without eating and I still wouldn't go near a bikini. I probably wouldn't even feel comfortable with a bathing suit. But the promise of a swim dress and bathing cap could be in my future.

Side Effect # 3:  Getting Addicted to New TV Shows

After memorizing practically every episode of anything that appears on Nick at Nite, I decided it was time to watch something I had never seen before. Three seasons of The Vampire Diaries later, I'm officially hooked. The good news is that I have something to look forward to after True Blood ends. The bad news is that I don't know how I'll be able to handle a cliffhanger every week when I've gotten so used to just playing the next episode.

Side Effect # 4:  Knowing the Show Will Go On

I was pretty sure that nothing would keep me from seeing Magic Mike on its debut weekend, but it looks like I was wrong. If I had any Hollywood pull, I would have used it all up for a chance to postpone the premiere weekend. But, alas, the show went on and pretty much every woman who isn't me got to see male strippers on the big screen. Here's hoping movie ratings will stay magical so I can see some of my favorite actors stripping in humungatron vision.

Side Effect # 5:  Missing Life Events

Along with having to postpone my plans to see Magic Mike, I also missed out on a weird Ninja Warrior type Gloucester tradition (the greasy pole), a pub crawl my cousin spent months planning, and the Fourth of July. Well technically I didn't really miss the Fourth of July because my migraine amplified the sound of every firework in a ten mile radius, but I could have done without feeling like I was trapped in a bunker in the midst of war.

Side Effect # 6:  Missing Afterlife Events 

My aunt passed away in the midst of my sickness and I could not make it to her funeral. I'll carry that guilt forever, but I truly couldn't leave the house. If Heaven has the Internet, I hope you know how sorry I am, Thea Madeline. You'll be in my heart forever.

Side Effect # 7:  Living in My Head

During the many hours I've been stuck behind an eye mask and ear plugs, I've spent a lot of quality time with myself. I now know that I can sing the Green Acres theme song in an eternal loop, write the majority of a book within my head, and remember all the silly stories that escaped my mind right before I was about to tell someone about them. Damned if I can remember any of those things now that I could potentially tell people about them, but they did cross my mind at one moment or another.


That just about covers the unspoken flu side-effects I've discovered over the past couple of weeks. All except the most obvious one, anyway.

It goes without saying that I've shirked on all my responsibilities while I've been sick. My inbox is overflowing, my blog comments remain unanswered, and everything I wanted to have done by now is still waiting to be acknowledged.

My Waiting Sucks winners' packages are still sitting here because I made my hubby turn around from the post office after I thought of one more thing I wanted to add to each package, but then got too sick to finish. Similarly, I haven't been able to get together with the contest winners to prepare their featured posts that I'm supposed to put up every Sunday.

Today is my first day sitting on my computer for longer than it takes to play a round of Bubble Safari. Here's hoping I'll be able to spend more time on here each day until I'm back on track.

Until then, thank you all for your patience and please stay tuned for some awesome posts. Along with my normal random thoughts, I will be resuming the featured Waiting Sucks Contest posts soon. I'll also be announcing a truly fabulous True Blood opportunity that any Trubie would want to sink their teeth into.

Stay tuned because things are about to get really interesting here on Pixie Sticks and Stones -- after I take my next dog nap, anyway.