12 Vague Movie Titles that Should Require Explanations

You know those lazy days when you don't want to do anything and you're so bored you can't even satisfy yourself with some mindless TV? I had one of those a few days ago and decided to pick a movie based solely off its title. In a golly gosh moment only paralleled by going on a road trip without a GPS, I searched for a movie On Demand without looking at actors, genres, or descriptions. My search led me to a movie called Grimm Love. Based on the title, I expected to find a Brothers Grimm type love story. Instead, I found a detailed movie about willing cannibalism. 

Well, I don't think I'll ever use that method of picking a movie again. 

After 88 minutes of watching one of the most disturbing movies ever made, I started to think about other movie titles. Some are really appropriate and give you an idea of what you're about to watch. Others completely throw you off guard and screw with your head. I've watched a lot of movies in both categories, but I never know how helpful a title will be until the movie starts. 

So I've decided that movies should all come with subtitles. Not the kind that you can switch into espanol by pushing a button; the kind that follow the title of a film. I'm not really in a position to update movie titles unless I scribble on my DVD covers. But since this is my blog and I can pretty much do what I want, I'm going to share some of the newly subtitled movies in my memory bank.

12 Newly (And More Appropriately) Titled Movies

12. Grimm Love: People Eating People While Keri Russell Watches for No Apparent Reason

11. Gigli: Because Pronunciation Matters More than Plot

10. Practical Magic: Just Not that Practical If You Didn't Kill Someone

9.  Pumpkin: How to Break Special Olympics Laws by Sleeping with the Guy You Mentor

8.  18: How to Make a Profit off Shooting People While HBO TV Show Stars Watch

7.  Punch Drunk Love: Making You Feel Less Sober by the Minute

6.  Sex and the City 2: Hollywood's Way of Making You Forget How Great the Show Was

5.  Fight Club: The Movie You Can't Talk About

4.  Party Monster: A Prime Example of Why Macaulay Culkin Should Never Be Left Home Alone

3.  It: NOT a Movie about Tag

2.  Octopussy: Disappointing Horny Kids for Generations

1.  Saw: The Gory Macgyver

Maybe I'm biased, but I think audiences would have a much better idea of what to expect if those movies had subtitles. And just think, I didn't even touch upon the more obviously ambiguous or weird movie titles like Freddie Got Fingered, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, or XXX. Some movies just need descriptions within the titles or you could wind up with a situation like I had with Grimm Love.

So now I turn to you, my friends. What movies would you subtitle and what would you choose as a final movie title? Let me know in the comments section because I'm more curious than George on this one!